Vegan Pirates Award for September Goes to Primark

Ye just be knowing that some bright spark, know it all , clever blagger's gonna tell me they kill babies with sharpened lambs' feet at company motivational conferences but fer the moment it has to be in the bounty chest as one o those things that be jest too good to be true.
Yep Primark have come to town and it be like an Alladins cave of vegan apparallic treasure, a stylish chavtastic bazaar o prada-less sheep free clothing. There be no doubt that some poor beggar is gettin shafted somewhere when you can buy clothes this cheap but they do be havin an ethical employment policy so they certainly don't be the worst.
Despite what the BBC and Ethical Consumer says they seem to be on the right ethical track and have joined the Ethical Trading Initiative. Certainly they do be havin the choice of animal free togs that be puttin most other chains to shame - far better quality than stores such as Zara an even T K Max at a fraction of the price. Posh suits for posh occasions, cow skin n leather free pirates belts, jeans fer silly prices, big frilly blouses fer the price of a packet o tofu, and sheep free fluffy jackets fer less than the price of a box o booja booja chocolates. They even be havin pirate copies o pearls - yep vegan pearls, both black pearls and the regular colour, vegan pirate copies o silk scarves and those big dangly earrings that us pirates so love to sport. Vegan shoes were a bit of a dissappointment as despite the silly price tags they be havin they be mainly real cows bum an leather. There were some vegan shoes though.